he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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