Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
