You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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