Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
