I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
