It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
