i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm passing your future prison.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
