Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
