did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
