Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
