just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
