Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
bring money and cleavage
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize