maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
