i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
