My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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