Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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