my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
God, I missed his penis.
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