My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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