if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
