What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This is my gift to your gina
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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