I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
