I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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