He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
