Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
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Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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