Sponge bath it is.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
