Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
