No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
