just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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