Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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