Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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