I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Nicole vs. Life
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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