it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
