just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
