Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize