Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I need help removing her.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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