why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
