Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
