Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
