You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
