i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Floor bacon is actually really good
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize