I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
