Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
