I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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