Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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