I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
