found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
