Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize