im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
