you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
