Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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