I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
