We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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