Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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