sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
