As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
