Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
