I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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