dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
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I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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