im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
